A Likely Story
Keith Morris was born in Anniston, Alabama (his hometown of Talladega did not have a hospital) and raised in Columbus, Georgia. He attended Vanderbilt University for a year before transfering to the University of Georgia, where he immersed himself in Athens’ vibrant music scene: “I was there at a good time. REM was beginning to hit it big, Vic Chesnutt was just starting out, playing those incredible shows at the 40 Watt, and I hung out with the [Widespread] Panic guys a good bit back then. I eventually left Athens, horrified I’d become a townie. But you know, you never fully escape it.”
After leaving Athens, Morris received an M.A. in Literature from Florida State, and then moved to Boulder, Colorado, where he worked a series of odd-jobs (waiter, innkeeper, shuttle and taxi-cab driver), and focused his energies on songwriting. It was there he met his wife, Jennifer. The couple married and eventually relocated to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Charlottesville, Virginia, where Morris has taught college, edited books for MIT Press, and served as a music columnist and reviewer.
“Songs From Candyapolis” is his first album.
The Real Truth
Birth
Born Keith Bryant Morris at Bull Connor Baptist Hospital in Talladega, Alabama. Named after University of Alabama football coach.
Age 3
First memory: Morris is in back of red wagon, which his older brother is deliberately pulling too fast. Morris flies out of wagon splitting head on concrete. Older brother is delighted. At Bull Connor Baptist Hospital, an orderly named Luther takes it upon himself to stitch Morris’s forehead.
Age 4
Mother leaves Morris alone in Piggly Wiggly parking lot to “teach him a lesson.” Over a dinner of salmon croquettes and LaSeur english peas, Morris’s father approves of mother’s parenting decisions. Calls son “wormy.” Morris dissociates while watching cartoons and schemes his vengeance.
Age 5
In the first of many deft acts of passive-aggression, Morris announces that he has become an Auburn fan. “Anti-Keith” sentiment in family reaches new high.
Family relocates to Columbus, Georgia. Attends Morningside Baptist Church. Social pressure within church soon forces Morris to accept Jesus as his savior.
Age 6
In an uncharacteristic show of family unity, Morris is designated for assignment, clears waivers, and is optioned to second-cousins in Eastaboga, Alabama.
Has first experience with divine grace when a hapless Auburn team beats Alabama 17-16 on two blocked punts in the 4th quarter.
Age 7
Morris commandeers Big Wheel and drives to grandparents’ home in Decatur, Georgia. Later describes this era as “the golden dawn” of his childhood. Sleeps on cartoon sheets, eats from Mickey Mouse plates, goes bowling frequently, and attends movies and Atlanta Braves games with his new hero, GranJohn. Every night, grandmother makes him “the most incredible chocolate milk shakes--with Cool-Whip and a cherry on top.” Back in Columbus, family hears of Morris’s happiness and threatens lawsuit. Morris, heartbroken, is returned home.
Age 8
Learns about sex from next door neighbor, Bubba Ogle. Ogle, who’d brandished one of his father’s Playboys as a visual aid during lecture, swears Morris to secrecy. “If they ask, just tell ‘em you picked it up on the streets.”
Age 9
When asked, tells family he “just picked it up on the streets.”
Mother asks, “Did Bubba Ogle tell you?”
Age 10
Morris is haunted by visions of the naked women he saw in Playboy magazine. Develops deep sense of shame for all things sexual. Vows to become a missionary when he grows up, but suffers reoccurring nightmares of being boiled in large pot with carrots and celery by tribal savages.
Age 14
C.W. Headbeater, a flashy, plaid-wearing Bible salesman who also dabbles in Theosophy, picks Morris out of a crowd at Camp Winnataska, due to prominent scar on Morris’s forehead. Proclaims Morris to be “a fine young man,” and the vehicle for Lord Maitreya, the newly incarnated World Teacher. Headbeater collects lucrative finder’s fee from Theosophical Society.
Age 15
First occult Initiation at Theosophical Society. Annie Besant becomes Morris’s legal guardian.
Age 16
Creation of the Order of the Star in the East; In England, Morris, now called simply “K,” meets Lady Emily Yutlens (granddaughter of W.B. Yeats.)
Age 18-25
Education in Athens and Rome. In 22nd year, has transformative experience when he is “appropriated by semi-benevolent beings” in a cornfield in Seale, Alabama. He and best friend Bud Purvis experience complete telepathic communion, when simultaneously they hear the other think aloud, “What the fuck?”
Age 26
Undergoes deep depression when rejected by first girlfriend. Puts fists to chin, shakes head and wonders if this is all there is.
Age 27
Following lead of friend Bud Purvis, Morris relocates to apartment above Milk Bar, Amsterdam, Holland. On “Larry King Live,” Theosophists announce coming of New World Teacher.
Age 28
Order of the Star convenes at the Ommen Camp. Five-hundred thousand make the pilgrimage to hear Morris’s message. But, fresh off 6-day bender in Red Light District, Morris disbands the Order of the Star, declaring "Truth is a Pathless Land. Do not follow leaders! Watch your parking meters!”
Age 29
Interviewed by Terry Gross on NPR’s Fresh Air. Is annoyed by her breathy voice, and audio tricks perpetrated by the sound engineer. Spends interview with fingers in ears, yelling the words “Stop it, Uncle Ponto!” over and over again. At which point, Morris goes into deep trance and begins hearing songs transmitted from the Pleidians who had abducted him years before.
Soon thereafter, begins recording Songs From Candyapolis.
Age 30
Early demos of Candyapolis spark minor-label bidding war. Morris eventually signs lucrative deal with City Salvage Records, estimated to be worth several million Vietnamese Dong.